Day 3

Day 3 was different..we got to moms room early..9:30 and hung out for about 10 min..we brought up something and had told them the day before that we would just pop in and let them spend the rest of the morning with him. Plans changed a bit when I got the text at 8:30 that Easton would stay another day..I was super let down, but kinda saw it coming. We knew he would be back in her room at 11ish so we popped in to say Hi and see if they needed anything and then we left. It was for sure a different vibe in the room that morning...somber like....hence the short visit. Easton came to their room at 11ish and we got back at 12:45 with lunch....Harold's BBQ!!! Yum! So they had almost 2 hrs with just him..and when we came back with lunch and she had him in her arms..the whole vibe was different. It was lighter and we were back to laughing and having fun...I cannot say enough how well we bonded with theses 2 girls..I meant to say that on Day one when the sister met us outside to take us to see him her first words to me were.."are you ready to meet your son?!!!!!" They made us feel confident and secure, just by being themselves.

We ate lunch and then the case worker showed up..have I mentioned just how much I LOVE her!! So glad to do this with her again! We stepped out to give them space to talk over paperwork and knew we would not see them again till she had signed...I felt so happy, giddy almost, because I was so peaceful and confident.

We stepped out to the waiting room to read over and get ready to sign our paperwork while we waited for the notary and witness to come from her room to us.....that is a lot of paperwork and it can be a bit overwhelming and intimidating...I can only imagine how mom felt...

We each got a copy to read over and you can bet that Bradley was thrilled for me to be snapping his picture at this moment!

When I sat down I felt so good. When I saw the notary and witness walk by I felt good still, but the nervousness was kicking in. I looked at my blog from that day..it took 6 min for me to go from confident and trusting to a big ball of mess!! In those 6 mins any peacefulness and calmness was GONE! Just a few minutes later the doors opened and I purposefully did not look...I was so afraid that I would be met by eyes that were pitying me because she had not signed. I waited till the caseworker walked up and touch my shoulders and said "Well.....she singed!" And that was the second time I cried that trip...the tears just flowed and I mumbled to her that I was so afraid of a repeat of last time and to hear say that..well, these were happy relieved tears. She hugged me and told me that mom never hesitated. Moms sister had told us that mom earlier had said that she wanted to brig him home with them, bu could only do it if he was coming home with a lot of money....she wanted to keep him so bad, but knew that they were in no place to financially do it. She was a tough, smart mom...and we are forever grateful to her for her courage, strength and the clarity she brought to this situation.

I loved this picture and I tried it 4 times..no clue why it wont turn..

Sweet boy!!

There are not as many pictures this time because all the ones that I took of Easton and her friends and family I have saved for just Easton. I would love to share them, but since they don't know about the blog, I couldn't really ask permission. Charlies parents don't know either, but theirs have been on here since day 1...before I thought that maybe it wasn't a good idea..so why stop now, right!!..plus, we are on their myspace page..so that's fair, right??!!

I will never complain about this day..because she signed and that makes me Eastons mommy, but I did hate that nothing really felt any different for us after she signed. He was in her room and she stayed until 12am and then left. So we still were not really holding him, feeding him and changing him. I fed him and changed his first diaper at a gas station on the way home! There is a picture on here of me feeding him..I was just finishing off the last 10ml for mom...the NICU came out in me and he was done in minutes!!

I try to be honest and real..so, if I am being honest......

When I brought Charlie home, I felt bonded to him. I had held, fed and changed him..and stared into his eyes ...I felt bonded, but I did not feel like his mom. That took about a 2-3 days. With Easton, I felt like his mom the minute I got him in the car, but I did not feel bonded. Which did not worry me the least bit. I knew I had very little time with him there and that it would come...

Well, happy to report that after 3 1/2 days home..I feel like a very lucky, bonded mom of 2 boys!!!

MY God IS SO GOOD!!