Visit with the bio's

Over Christmas we had a visit with "C" and "M", the bio's. Bio's sounds kinda harsh and cold, but you know we love them, it just shortens the typing of birth mom and birth father. I only use their initials now because I have no idea what the rules are on putting their names out there. I probably should ask for permission to put pictures on here, but that would require mentioning that I have a blog...so, we will just keep doing what were doing and hope for the best. Good planning huh!! Charlie and "C". Charlie did really good with both of them, but it was no surprise to Bradley and I that Charlie was partial to "M". You know Charlie is a "guys" guy and almost always prefers Bradley, Grandaddy and Papa over their spouses!! I wanted to say something to "C" and let her know that it was just Charlie lovin guys better then girls and it had nothing to do with her, but I thought that may just make her feel awkward. If she was feeling bad about it then it may make her feel worse that someone pointed it out. So, I said nothing.....good planning or wussing out??

Charlie is also not quite sure about the facial piercings..he gets focused and just stares at them and cannot focus on anything else. This time he at least tried to pull them off/out...he went from afraid to interested.

I like her smile in this one!

I make a small book for Charlie after each visit and I felt like I needed more when I made the last book, so I tried to get more this time. We were at Chucky cheese so it was a bit crowded and not the greatest place for photos!

"M" and Charlie driving the car...they are clearly doing man things here! Examining something I am sure!

I thought this was a great picture of the two of them.

I thought this was sweet.

"C's" mom, Charlie and "C"..trying to get one of those pictures that Chucky Cheese has..they got some cute ones!

"C's" oldest sister...She was there with her husband and her other sister and nephew were there and I somehow managed to not get a picture of them:( This sister and her husband thanked us for coming out and said it really meant a lot to the bios. The grandparents always thank us, but it was really nice to have someone else thank us and appreciate it.

In the background is "M's" wife. They have been married for a year now and they live in California where he is stationed in the military. At the beginning of our adoption I struggled with wanting to feel the way that I now feel about "C" and "M". Somewhere around 2 yrs I started reading blogs from birth mothers perspectives..lots of them. And finally, what I had wanted to feel, I finally felt. I suddenly really wanted Charlie to know them, love them, see them often, pray for them, say their names, know he has 2 mommies and 2 daddies. I cannot say what exactly it was in those blogs that turned/tugged at my heart, but it was not longer "something I had to do", but "something I wanted to do". I often have people tell me how great it is that we see the bios and let them have visits and how great it is that Charlie knows them, etc. Usually it is followed by, "but I am not sure I could do that". I may be wrong, but I really feel that most people could. If you knew what I know and if you talked to adopted kids, if you read books and knew statistics..you could do it. This is good for Charlie.. he knows them and knows they love him. He (hopefully)won't hit a certain age and want to know them so badly, but be afraid to tell me. He will know..anytime he wants to see them, it's okay. And as far as letting them see him, he is their son too! I have people tell me that as he gets older "hopefully the birth parents will just kinda fade away and lose interest". He is their son...they will not loose interest and I DO NOT want them to fade away. One of my biggest fears with this second adoption is getting a family that does not want to be involved. For some bio's, a desire not to be involved is for their protection and healing...I get that. But how much will that suck for our next child if their bio's don't want visit, letters and calls...I know God will give us just the right baby and I hope that baby's parents will be just as involved.

All that to say that "M" and his wife are pregnant and expecting a baby....Charlie will have a 1/2 sibling. I am a bit peeved that I was not able to give him a sibling first, but whatever, I am dealing!!! At the beginning of our time with "C" and "M", there were some rough spots with "M".....and I remember Bradley and I saying "I hope he has another kid soon and leaves ours alone". I literally cringe when I write that..and I am embarrassed to put it on paper..and even contemplated changing the wording to make myself sound better. But we said it. And now, 2 years later when I find out he is expecting another child..I cringe again..because I have a small fear that he will move on...and I don't want him to. It's amazing what time and knowledge and Gods grace can teach you.

..and I feel pretty confident that neither of his bio's are going anywhere!!

He was an angel all day..and why wouldn't he be..look at his crowd of admires!!

Charlie was on some ride and about 18 of us were standing around watching him. Bradley pointed out a couple nearby who were staring at all of us..kinda with their mouths opened and some confusing looks. I told Bradley to just go over and explain to them so they can move on to the next ride and well, you guys know Bradley..that wasn't happening!!

When we left the, girl who checks to make sure your numbers on your hand match your childs, went to check "C" and Charlie since they were walking out together. Through other observations I think that they kinda knew each other and maybe were not BFF. She, in my opinion, was harsh and rude when she explained to "C" that, "We check the stamps on the child's and parents hand to make sure they only leave with their parents". Totally my opinion, but I thought it was rude and could have been out much nicer. So, I may have said..a little to loud..that, while their stamps did not match she still was his mom. I love making people feel awkward!!! (think second hand smoke and cervix!!)
These were the only pictures I had of "C's" nephew and "M's" mom...

Look what values I am instilling in him...WIN, it doesn't matter if you cheat!!!

"M" and Charlie

We can blame "M" for the cheating..even though the real blame lies with Cassidee!!!

C, Charlie, C's step mom, her dad and brother. That 1 yr old is technically Charlie's uncle...crazy!! Technically, you know, if we called the bios things like aunt, cousin, etc ..which we don't.

I was reading Heart Cries...that blog I love...and she put into words exactly how I feel about that. If you care, click on it to see!!

This ride never got old!!

I put this one in cause it was the only one I had of "M's" brother..I love that kid. He is so stinkin polite and sweet. And I can call him a kid when he is 18, cause they (C, M, his wife and brother) think that Bradley and I are sooo old. Um, were 30. I am no spring chicken (whatever that means), but I am not old. They have never outright said it, but they sooo think it!

I got Charlie and M and C together and we talked with them about how they are also his mommy and daddy. He can say it, but I wanted him to see them and say it and kinda put it all together. I thought it was special, but I got no reaction from them. I am sure at their age it was kinda awkward, but I am sure they appreciated it.

5 min into the car ride home....he.was.worn.out.!!

I often call Charlie "spaz-tastic" and this may help you see why!