Our first birthmom

So, I have been meaning to and wanting to do this post for a while. I know it will take effort and my energy to get it right and do it justice so I have been putting it off...I know, sounds really lazy huh!
So, I think for some time I may have misrepresented Bradley and myself..we love our birth parents...not ours, Charlies! WE LOVE THEM!! I know there were moments we were frustrated and mad and plenty of overwhelmed moments, but we love them. In talking to a lot of people about adoption the second time around we have heard a lot of people tell us "Maybe you get lucky and they will give you the baby and be gone"..if you have said this to us, we are not mad!! But, that is 100% NOT what we want!

We want all our children to have the same opportunities..you know how I like to keep things equal! If one has involved birthparents we want the same for the other..etc. Everything I have read, know and believe to be true says that Charlie will be a better person because he knows C and M (birthparents). These are good people who come from good people..theses are people who know and love God...people who loved Charlie enough to want more for him then they could give him. I recently sent the BP (birthparents) an email and told them that as we were getting into the adoption stuff again we would be thrilled if our next BP were half as great as them. We do not only love them because they gave us Charlie, we love them because of who they are and the many good decisions they have made. C got prenatal care from 8 weeks on, no drugs, no alcohol, involved family, etc...C and M gave Charlie up for a better life for him and that is not the "cool or the in-thing" to do now. We were told that we would more then likely not get a teen mom this time around because teen pregnancy is so socially accepted that teens are not giving up their babies..so BIG props to C and M for being more mature then most their age.

So, I have always appreciated C and M, but now that we are actually doing all this again..I am really appreciating them.

I'll explain..here is our adoption timeline for this time around...this is one of those things that will be nice to have down on paper, but may not interest you!

10/20/08-request via email to adopt again with same agency
11/01/08-began to fill out paperwork & it still took us a month to get it all together the 2nd time around
12/01/08-approved for a reduced fee this time around
12/06/08-Mail in the 2.5lb paperwork to start this process again!
01/07/09-Fingerprint error caused a slight hold up..error was by me!
02/09/09-Mailed in the last stuff..stuff needed to be approved, but not needed to do the homestudy.
02/12/09-Homestudy. It was a shortened version since we had done this before with them!
02/16/09-Told via email we were ready to show to birthmoms..no official letter this time around!
03/02/09-We were chosen by a birthmom.
03/03/09-Bradley and I declined a match with this birthmom.
04/02/09-Found our that the birthmom we did not go with, did get a family!

When we got that call that we got picked in March..that was when we realized how lucky we were with C and M. On paper they were perfect, we realize now that what we have with them is rare. We always known that God blessed us with them and only now are we able to appreciate it on another level. The birthmom we were presented was a good person, just was not a good match for us. And I can tell myself that till I am blue in the face but it still hurts..you never want to turn away a baby...or a birthmom. I was happy to see that some other family got to get their baby though! So, after we have been through that experience I just feel even more ready for the next one...I know God uses these little things along the way to prepare us for "the one"!!!

All this said..I love C..I love M..and we are more then lucky and blessed to have them in our lives. My specific prayer..one of them..is that we are able to bond and connect with our next birthmom...our ability to connect with her trumps race, gender, social background, drugs, etc. I am also aware that things like drugs and alcohol use may affect our ability to connect, but sometimes they wont. But our relationship with her is highest on our priority list. We want a life long relationship with her and we are anxiously awaiting the birthmom that God brings our way!
..and just so you all know I am normal, I am trusting God, but that does not mean I am not MORE then ready to have another baby!!!! I only check my phone..20 times a day..to see if I missed a call from the agency! I can only imagine what it's like when you have waited 6 months, 12 months, 18 months or 2 years....2 months and I am a little anxious!